WHEW! 2020 has been the absolute most horrific year imaginable, and we are only halfway through it. At this point, things like poisonous locusts, flying fanged killer pigs, and flame encrusted black holes wouldn’t be surprising. I always jokingly thought we were currently living in the place fear-mongering Christians call hell. It could be that there is some truth to that joke.
Well, as I prefaced, the entire world is in trouble, and Murica is leading the charge in the chaos. Maybe not so much leading but more like failing at any form of leadership. Either way, this is not a political post, so I’ll just stop there with that line of thought.
Yes, we have established that 2020, so far, has been absolute trash. Despite this, I have been really thriving in this flaming garbage truck that is leaking funky, refuse juice on the street on a sweltering urban 105 degree, summer day. In other words, THAT, which we call life as we know it in 2020. I had one bad week filled with very uncharacteristic anxiety, two weeks ago, but other than those few days, I have been doing well despite all of this.
Last year I was struggling. That was due to the death of my father, and all of the things death, grief, and mourning kicked up. A few months before he passed, I was in the state of mind that I understood the impact his death would have on me, so I proactively started researching therapists. Occasionally I get a strong urge to do something. When I get that driving need to do something, I usually follow through. I have learned to follow through and trust these instincts, because it’s what I’m supposed to do. In the past, when I’ve gone against that strong urge, I usually regret it. My push to get a therapist last year paid off because had I not, I believe I would be feeling the flames of the dumpster fire that is now our 2020 reality.
The ability to maneuver through the many things that are unfolding this year made me supremely grateful that I was proactive enough to go to therapy and continue going. 2020 also has made me understand the importance of taking care of yourself on multiple levels, not just physically. After this funky garbage storm of a year, we should all be recognizing how important it is to be in a good place, not only physically, but mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. That could be the difference between getting through all of this and barely being able, at best, to cope.
Last year I’d started to unravel all of my stuff beyond the grief that sent me to therapy initially. After going to a few sessions, I realized that I should continue and work on any childhood, adulthood, and or life issues that I had. Making that decision was by far one of the best things I’ve ever done in life, right after buying real estate, pursuing higher education, and becoming a mom. It was just that important. While I was floundering last year, I was at a loss as to how I would move through it without help. Seeking professional assistant allowed me to move toward gaining some footing on some of life’s challenges that had been impacting me, and quite frankly, had been kicking my ass even though I wasn’t fully aware of how much.
Had I not started on my path of healing last year, I would have had to sit with all of those feelings during this plague and racial uprising. Sitting with unhealed feelings without a distraction would have been hard, but maneuvering those emotions plus the quarantine of the plague and the ongoing slaughtering of our people in the streets would have just been too much.
So, instead of struggling, I have been thriving, personally. That, of course, is not factoring in the suffering of people in the world due to the plague and the uprising. The thriving did not really start as flourishing, but it started last year with learning to get in touch with who I am. Had I not done that and learned to sit comfortably with who I am, I would have been real deal struggling while stuck in the house during this plague.
At the beginning of 2020, I had plans to:
🔸Travel more, business, and pleasure.
🔸Develop more friendships.
🔸Focus a lot more on my personal life.
🔸Dedicate more time to becoming more physically active.
🔸Enjoy more things from my bucket list.
🔸Add more things to my bucket list.
🔸Pamper myself more.
🔸Spend more quality time with friends.
🔸Step out of my comfort zone more.
🔸Live way more life.
As of now, I’ve accomplished ALL of this, and MORE, despite Covid- 19. My ability to accomplish these goals was directly connected to how therapy has allowed me to move to a space of peace, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. That is a place that I’ve never been to before, but I’m happy to be here now. Finding your place of peace is essential in life during normal times, but it is crucial during trying times. That is especially the case since we are living through the most dumpster fire year imaginable.
So, I wish you continued peace during this trash ass, dumpster fire year of 2020.
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