Tue. Sep 29th, 2020

Anais ForReal

Straight No Chaser

5 Things I Learned in 2019 That Has Changed How I View EVERYTHING

5 min read
Photo by Elisa on Reshot

Photo by Elisa on Reshot

2019 started as any previous year, but it ended as nothing I’d ever experienced before, and that changed everything. It was a year of pain – endurance, death – life, growth – awakening, and so much more. Through all of this, I’ve discovered more about myself than I thought was possible.

🔸Life is fragile – Therefore, we should embrace as much of it as possible. We should live as if life is precarious because it is. I watched life go from strong, too fragile, and over in a very short period. There’s nothing like viewing this process to give you a new perspective on life. It makes you appreciate how fast life can change, and why you should cherish every day.

The fragile nature of life forced me to take a look at my life and motivated me to make some drastic changes. Not only have I given this thought, but I am also actively changing my attitude about life and intending to embrace more of it.

🔸Therapy is self-care – After my realization about how fragile life is, I discovered the importance of speaking regularly to a professional. Yes, we have friends to talk to, or most of us do. However, speaking to a therapist offers you the ability to gain an unbiased and professional perspective. A therapist is not your friend. So, they don’t have a vested interest in your feelings on an emotional level. They are speaking from a professional perspective, only. Therefore they will provide you with guidance minus how that advice will impact personally on the level that a friend would.

As a person seeking therapy, you have the benefit of a lack of personal relationship with your therapist, which is helpful when opening up about some subject matters. There are things I have told my therapist that I have never uttered to another human being in life. That’s because it’s a different level of comfort with a therapist than you would have with a friend because it’s a professional relationship. The relationship is friendly but based on professionalism.

My therapy sessions have made me dig deep into areas, I quite frankly, didn’t know I could dig into with the goal of self-reflection. Therapy has been about discussion, analyzing, self-reflection, and actionable steps to address issues.

🔸Self-reflection is necessary – I’ve always been proud of my ability to reflect upon myself. If you want to grow as a human being, you should always use self-reflection as a way to analyze YOUR actions. Questioning and reflecting upon your actions first is essential, especially in interactions involving others.

Although I have always been one to self-reflect, I realized this year after going to therapy that I had been reflecting within a shallow area of consciousness. Although I had good intentions, I was analyzing ONLY on a surface level due to my lack of awareness and not being fully in tune with who I am. If you only have a surface level awareness about yourself, you will naturally not go deep enough in your self-reflection.

So, ultimately therapy has provided me with opportunities to dig deeper into who I am. That has allowed me to probe deeper into my efforts of self-reflection.

One of the things that I’ve learned in a particularly emotionally intense therapy session was how I could be impeding myself in embracing love and intimacy in a way that could be much more fulfilling than past experiences.

🔸Love & Intimacy is a gift – Honestly, I never thought much about how much a gift love and intimacy is before this year. I wouldn’t say I took it for granted. It was actually something that I never really thought much about it. I don’t know that it was an actual conscious avoidance of love & intimacy, but that’s just how things have evolved.

After the past year and witnessing how fragile life is, going to therapy and a lot of self-reflection, I think I owe it to myself to embrace way more of life, and that includes realizing love and intimacy in a way that I’ve never experienced before.

2019 taught me that I never want to be on my deathbed feeling as if I left one bit of life, not experienced. I want to smell the flowers, enjoy more experiences, and embrace ALL of the beauty life has to offer.

There’s a growing list of experiences I must have, and there are lists of things that I don’t even know I want to experience yet. I need to do those things too. These experiences will involve being present in my life 100% and not playing a passive role in my everyday existence.

🔸Being present in life is everything – The last year has taught me that I have been merely existing more than I have been actively participating in my life. I have been present but ONLY for other people or doing things to increase my earning potential to create generational wealth for my son. Those are great things, but now I need to keep that same energy with being present in everything, for my OWN pleasure and not just for others.

Listen to more about that in my NEW podcast, Overthinking Everything With Anais ForReal, below:

Episode 1: Being Present And Not Just Playing a Passive Role In Your Life.

2019 challenged in a way that made me question everything I’ve ever believed in every aspect of my existence. I am still discovering more about myself. A self that is not someone’s daughter, a person’s mother, or another’s, sister. In the process, I am rediscovering, reinventing, excepting, embracing, and loving the new me. It may take the next fifty years to learn more about me, but I am going to enjoy and love every minute of it.

I would love to know your thoughts on these five things and what you’ve learned in 2019. Reach out, let’s chat on FBIG, and Twitter . Until next time, Happy New Year.

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