Thu. Aug 13th, 2020

Anais ForReal

Straight No Chaser

Black People: Stop Kicking Your Kids Out of the House

2 min read
Photo by Lelia Milaya 🌿 on Reshot

Photo by Lelia Milaya 🌿 on Reshot

I find it extraordinarily upsetting that the solution to some black parents once kids reach eighteen years old, is to kick them out of the house. Even if kids reach a certain age, that doesn’t mean they are ready to fend for themselves. We must learn to love our kids more.

When we have kids, that’s a lifelong job of wanting what’s best for the child. These children that we give birth to are a part of us. As mother’s, we carry them in our bodies until they are ready to come out. We should feel the same as mother’s keeping the kids in our homes until they can leave and care for themselves.

Kicking your kids out before they are ready, is selfish, shitty parenting. As black people, we should be thinking of building generational wealth. Kicking kids out before they are prepared, is the opposite of building generational wealth. It’s creating unnecessary hardship, trauma, and you are responsible as parents for playing a role in, possibly ruining their lives.

Other cultures have multiple generations under one roof to ensure that everyone is taken care of for the greater good of everyone. I simply don’t understand where we are as black mothers that we can give birth to these babies and NOT want to see them succeed?

I guess I don’t understand it because it was not a part of my family dynamic. My family was by no stretch of the imagination perfect; However, no child was kicked out of the family home. NOT ONE.

I belong to a Facebook Group focused on mothers with black sons. In this group, the response to practically every scenario is either “whup” the child or kick them out. Every time these solutions are presented, the response is always, “Well that worked for me, and I turned out ok.” Ma’am, you did NOT turn out alright if you feel as if whupping or kicking out a child before they are ready, is a solution.

These behaviors by these mothers are generational trauma passed down from generation to generation. It is time for us to break these generational curses and unlearn these destructive behaviors.

I would love to know your thoughts on this post and previous posts. Reach out, let’s chat on FBIG, and Twitter.

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