Wed. Aug 17th, 2022

Anais ForReal

Straight No Chaser

Childhood Trauma: #Narcissists And #Empaths – Let’s Get Into It

3 min read
Photo by Lennart Wittstock on Pexels

Photo by Lennart Wittstock on Pexels

I have been writing a lot about people that exhibit traits of NPD or Narcissistic Personality Disorder. That’s because I have been in a relationship with one, and a lot of my friends have been in similar relationships. That led me to think more about the disorder. I started thinking about how I am an empath, and my brother has narcissist traits. I am a person that sees patterns in things and situations. So this seemed too coincidental to not be related somehow. 

After therapy, I’d conclude that my toxic sibling and I were traumatized by our childhood. My brother was the topic of quite a few sessions. The therapist helped me understand that even though my brother was a horrible person, he was traumatized by childhood like me. My trauma manifested in an awareness sort of way, and his showed up in a way that embodied the cruelty he displayed even as a child. 

Oddly or maybe just the universe confirming this, a friend sent me a TicTok about Narcissistic siblings. The video discussed “Mother Wounds”  and how they could produce a person that was an empath. It also stated that maternal trauma could cause a person to have Narcissists tendencies or have (NPD) Narcissistic Personality Disorder. 

I will push that a bit further since I think Narcissists are inherently evil to their core. When I was a child, I ALWAYS believed “something was wrong” with my brother because he was mean as hell. I don’t mean just moody. I mean, just horrible and friggin evil. He would do calculated and malicious things that I felt were appalling, even when I was around four or five years old. I was one year behind him, but it seemed as if I knew right from wrong when he didn’t seem to care. I’m not pretending I was a saint as a child or now because I’m a regular person. However, I don’t think you could find anyone that knows me who will say I’ve done something malicious and mean to them. That is the polar opposite of who my sibling is to me and those that were living in my childhood home growing up. To others, he was lovely, but he was always horrible to the women in the family. 

In situations like ours, I have to look at how interconnected this is and how I think the relationship between Empath and Narcissist is basically a good versus evil thing. Growing up, that’s exactly how I felt. I also felt like this recently when I was in a relationship with a person who displayed traits of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. 

When you think about traditional good versus evil battles, evil is always attracted to light or pure energy. They are not drawn to it to enjoy it but instead with the intent of destroying it. That’s how narcissists walk through this world. They strategically and maliciously seek good people as a “SOURCE” to drain and destroy them. 

I’m not one to go around thinking things are woo-woo boogeyman-level evil. However, when someone is evil, THEY JUST ARE. I’m going to call a thing a thing. I understand narcissists endured childhood trauma, but that doesn’t factor in when they seek to destroy people JUST because they were traumatized as children. 

So ultimately, I think people that are narcissists and empaths was both victims of childhood trauma, and that will follow them throughout life. However, I believe it manifests in two entirely different ways, one is evil/narcissistic, and another is good/empathetic. The thing that made them BOTH into who they are has its commonality in childhood trauma. 

I can not stress the importance of recognizing one’s trauma before having children because unhealed trauma hurts the kids and everyone they will ever come in contact with in the future. I realize one has to have a certain degree of self-awareness to recognize the need to get therapy. I also know most don’t have that level of self-awareness and the ability to self-reflect. I hope one day we all move to a point where we can look inward without struggle and seek therapy without stigma.  

WOW, that got deeper than I planned. ANY. WHO.  Follow me on my socials’.

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