Fri. Jul 10th, 2020

Anais ForReal

Straight No Chaser

Family of Origin: Generational Curses BROKEN

3 min read
Photo by Derrick Thomas on Reshot

Photo by Derrick Thomas on Reshot

I never thought about generational curses or Family of Origin Issues much. Actually, I didn’t know Family of Origin Issues, was even a thing. It is crazy how talking to a professional has a way of teaching you and opening your mind to experiences you live through but have no concept of because they are out of your areas of expertise.

There’s always dialogue by people that don’t know better about how people need to leave their childhoods in the past. It doesn’t work like that, and that’s due to Family of Origin Issues. These issues literally mold you into who you are.

“From the Family of Origin, a person learns how to communicate, process emotions, and get needs met. People also learn many of their values and beliefs from their families.”

If there is a brokenness in your family, these issues will have an impact on any child growing up exposed to that family. THAT is because those issues will probably be passed down to you and that’s why most can’t leave their past and how they were raised behind. Their Family of Origin, made them into who they are, it can’t be separated, unless there’s an awareness of the issue. Most are not aware because how they live, is their norm.

When I had my son, I wanted to be the mom to him I never had. I also wanted to stop the behaviors that was passed down from generation to generation. I am lucky that I was aware of SOME of my Family of Origin Issues. So I did my best NOT to pass those issues down to my son. However, upon further reflection and 30 sessions of therapy, I realized early in my process that I may not have been as successful as I thought previously. That’s because the more sessions I attended in therapy, the more I realized I had issues that I was unaware of, so the chance that my son had escaped those issues were slim. Upon realizing this, I talked to my son and let him know I could have passed some of my Family of Origin Issues down to him. I also strongly encouraged him to go to therapy before he had kids. I wanted to make sure WE both did everything we could to stop the generational curses with us.

I recently started bi-weekly sessions with my therapist. Coincidentally at this time, my son came to me and mentioned that he was ready to seek therapy. I’d opened the conversation to him after the death of my dad, but he wasn’t ready at that time. So, I was very happy that he was ready and that I had a chance to possibly get him set up with my therapist. I wanted him to be able to start therapy with a trusted professional because that could be the difference between success and failure. I am so excited that he will be starting sessions with my therapist soon. I will NOT be documenting his any parts of his journey because it is his personal journey, not mine.

We all have Family of Origin or other issues because we are human. However, I will not be passing down generational curses due to these issues beyond my son. We owe it to ourselves and future generations to STOP passing down crappy behaviors, flaws, and brokenness. We do this by doing the work on ourselves before we have kids or recognizing that we could have passed down stuff to our kids and fix it before it’s passed down to future generations.

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Quote source: Good Therapy

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