Sat. Oct 31st, 2020

Anais ForReal

Straight No Chaser

Going BACK To Therapy After Four Weeks AND What I Learned About Myself During Those Weeks

5 min read
Photo by Rafael Barros from Pexels

Photo by Rafael Barros from Pexels

Due to Labor Day, I didn’t have therapy on my regularly scheduled day. I really didn’t think there would be an issue, and I had hopes that I would do well within that period. It’s not that I was struggling but, 🥴 🥴 🥴 I’ll just say I like my weeks more when I start it with a session.

I made a conscious choice early in my therapy journey that I wanted to start sessions on Monday because I felt as if it would start my week off in a positive manner. I was right, and the past few weeks validated that for me.

About three months ago or so, I moved from weekly to bi-weekly therapy sessions. I felt like it was a good time for me to scale sessions a bit because most of the super tough challenges had been unraveled, for the most part. Also, scheduling them every two weeks allowed me to unravel more and implement what I learned in the sessions into my daily life in an actionable way. Additionally, when I decided to start attending sessions bi-weekly, I viewed it more as a means of maintenance and self-care. I don’t think I thought about if those two weeks were extended to one month after missing a session.

At the start of every session, my therapist usually inquires about how I’m doing. She wants a real answer, not the “oh I’m ok” answer. She asks how I am being impacted by the many things that are going on in the world. At that point, I would have an opportunity to discuss, even if only briefly, the many things about this TRASH ASS year that has just been horrific. I didn’t realize how important that time was until I didn’t have it for the past few weeks.

This week made me think about the Black people that are dealing with the trauma of living in our world right now, without having a therapist to talk to about what’s going on. I also realize how good it felt to have someone professional to speak with during these times. I think it is so important that Black people have someone professional to speak with as we are dealing with so much trauma. That is due to all of the race hate, Covid-19, how we are impacted more by this virus, and how we have to fight for our lives due to police violence against our communities all at the same time. It’s a lot to deal with, and it’s a struggle.

So, in addition to those challenges, I was trying to juggle the getting back out there, with my single “whatever the hell” you want to call [virtual] dating now. I wouldn’t say that I had a bad experience but more of me being moody about dating, hence, why I am chronically single. I’ve discussed this with my therapist before. My views on dating/relationships/partnerships “whatever the hell kind of things” is complicated. That’s because whoever I chose to be with or spend any amount of time, I have to love spending time with them as much or more than I love my own company. This goes for even having a conversation with them. I have to want to talk to them as much as I want to just enjoy my own company. It’s totally not them, it’s me. I am fully aware of how obnoxious that sounds, but I am being honest with myself. The good news is, I didn’t delete the apps from my phone though, and that’s due to therapy progress.

Speaking of progress, I had a bit of a challenge earlier this week that forced me to think about some of the things we worked on during sessions. It was a communication misunderstanding, but it was hurtful and upset me. Usually, I would have silently seethed about it and not address it. I very easily could have reverted to not talking about this issue, but instead, I remembered discussing boundaries, making people aware of them, and how essential that can be. So, instead of doing what I would have done previously, I had a discussion and set a boundary. It was a good, healthy adult conversation that cleared up a communication misunderstanding, and the boundary was set. These are some of the small things that therapy helps with during your daily life. It sounds like something trivial. However, it’s really not because misunderstandings can impact relationships.

Since I am trying to build stronger, healthier relationships, it is imperative that I leave unhealthy behaviors in the past. The scenario that I described above made me face my issues with communication in relationships, and therapy gave me the tools needed to change my behavior. That was some real deal progress.

Overall, I think the past four weeks have been a mixed bag of issues. Some I was able to handle easily, and some gave me challenges that made me call on some of the tools from therapy to get me through. Either way, I realized during these weeks how much I continue to benefit from having my bi-weekly sessions at the top of each week.

Between sessions, I usually journal about what has been going on in my life so I can discuss them during therapy, upon my return. I have a feeling it will take me two sessions of yapping at my therapist to get back on track due to having missed these few weeks. We will see during session 38, next week.

In closing, therapists are angels on earth for having the patience to listen to people bitch and moan for hours on end.

I would love to know your thoughts on putting therapy session lessons to work in everyday situations. How are you taking what you’ve learned in therapy and applying them to your life in real-time? Reach out, let’s chat on FBIG, and Twitter. Until then, Happy Healing and Happy Unpacking.

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