Grief is a very tricky thing. It’s something that you will never understand until you are experiencing it. There’s no manual to help you cope with it. As the person experiencing grief, there’s nothing that has prepared them for it. Even if they’ve grieved before, each experience is very different. There are so many factors that impact the grieving process. It’s how close they were with the person, what type of relationship they had, how often they saw the person; and so many other things.
Watching your loved ones grieve is probably the hardest thing you will ever do. It can make you feel helpless and sometimes your helplessness and frustration can be detected; by your grieving loved ones. I think understanding that grief manifests in so many different ways can assist in helping you understand, which will then help you be there for the person grieving.
Different people deal with grief in different ways. It can also alter people to the degree that you may not recognize their behaviors as the norm. Keep in mind that THEIR normal is no longer normal. So, it is not out of the ordinary that their behaviors may not be the norm.
One of the worst things you can do while someone is grieving is to make their grief about you, how you feel; and how their actions made you feel. The grief is 100% about them and their ability to come to terms with their grief. It is NOT about you. None of that is about you.
When someone is grieving the loss of a loved one, they are mourning the loss of that life and the life they were supposed to have with that person. None of that is about you.
One of the best things you can do for a person that is grieving is to be there for them if and when they need you. Refrain from disrupting their grieving to attend to your concerns about their change in behavior due to their grief. Don’t make them feel as if you are making their grief about YOU. Remember, None of that is about you.
If you want to learn more about grief and how to help:
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