A lot of times, we have in our mind what we want in an ideal person. As we get older, those wants tend to evolve as our needs change with age. Young people may be looking for someone to grow with, get married and start a life together. Older people who are empty nesters could be looking for something totally different.
As much as I think it’s great to know what we want in another person, it is equally, if not more important, to know WHO we are and what makes us happy. That starts with getting to know who we are as individuals. If you are the type of person that bops from one relationship to another, chances are you are not very in-tuned to who you are, what you want, or what makes you happy.
Being in a healthy relationship truly starts with how you treat yourself. A part of that involves taking time to love yourself and learning to treat yourself great. That begins with taking control of your happiness. People tend to look for someone else to make them happy or complete. They do so without fully understanding what they can do to bring joy into their lives. How can you expect another person to make you happy when you haven’t taken the time to explore what makes you happy?
Placing the responsibility on someone to make you happy is colossally unfair for many reasons. Some of those reasons are below:
- It gives away your power and will place your happiness in the hands of another person.
- It is very unrealistic that someone would know what makes you happy.
- It is unfair to the other person, especially when most people are not fully aware of what makes them happy.
- It places a crazy amount of pressure on the other person.
- It cheats you out of the ability to make yourself happy without another person.
We all owe it to ourselves to take some downtime between relationships, life, or whatever has us stuck. The goal is to get in touch with YOU. Find yourself, and deeply explore yourself to come out with newfound knowledge of who you are deep down to the core of your soul. That will provide you with a level of intuitiveness about yourself and happiness that you’ve never experienced before.
As you get to know yourself, it will empower you to treat yourself better, extend yourself grace, and, therefore, demand better treatment by others. It is the ultimate self-love hack. That’s because the more you love yourself, the more you will expect others love you in the way that you love yourself. If they don’t, you will move on quickly.
Self-love is sadly sometimes looked at as selfishness. I have never viewed it as such. I want to be with someone that loves themselves, which means they are capable of love. If a person can not love themselves, they will never be able to love you the way you deserve to be loved. The love you deserve starts with you.
I would love to chat about it. Find me on my socialz’.
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