As I progress in my therapy journey and continue to unpack the years of my past life regarding the unintentional and or intentional childhood trauma, I reflect often. “How does it feel to be viewed as the villain?” was the bombshell question asked in my last therapy session before my therapist deserted me to frolic about on vacation. How dare she. 😁 Just kidding, she is very deserving of all time off just for having the gift of listening and unraveling the problems of folks bellyaching all day.
Since not having a session last week, I had time to marinate on that question. How do I feel being viewed as a villain? Well, I never thought of myself as a villain, but more of a person just living in my truth. If that is objectionable by other people, that literally has nothing to do with me.
People spend their entire lives trying to “find themselves.” If they do, they are lucky. If you’ve been fortunate enough to know who you are, without effort to find yourself, you are quite blessed indeed.
I didn’t have a very traditional childhood, but one thing I can say is that I’ve always been aware of who I was and who I currently am. Through all the challenges, ups, and downs, I’ve always remained true to who I am as a person.
I have never been one to take a road of convenience because it’s the road that is easiest, even if it’s the wrong path. To me, wrong has always been wrong, and I’ve never followed wrong because I was too weak to take the road less popular, and of least resistance. That has never been my way, and it never will be.
If I am viewed as the villain:
🔸For erecting boundaries, ok.
🔸Not allowing myself to be bullied, ok.
🔸Being an honest, laid back, but take no shit kind of person, ok again.
🔸For distancing myself from the sibling that inflicted childhood trauma and those that aligned with them, I am fine with that.
I am never one to believe folks have haters or that people are actively thinking about anyone other than themselves. That’s because I believe most people are basically self-absorbed and only think about themselves. I have so much more to think about than other people. I think that’s because I’ve always had and still do have so much on my plate. I just don’t have the time, energy, or inclination to be focused on the issues of anyone else beyond myself and my son. So, I believe others feel the same.
If folks are actively thinking about me in their daily lives and casting me as a villain because I am standing in my truth, my thoughts about them are their lives must be very unfulfilling. If they are thinking of me at ALL, if that is indeed the case, they need to redirect their attention to some part of their lives that are surely lacking if they have time to think about me. So based on this, I naturally think people or specifically the people that are the topic of conversation, are not actively thinking about me or viewing me as a villain.
So with all that said, I’ve had a few weeks to think about the question, “How Does It Feel To Be Viewed As The Villain” and, my answer, I don’t care. Not only do I not care but it is simply not my problem, how others view me. I have too much life to live, and none of that life is impacted by other’s opinions of me.
As people, we have to stop caring about how we are viewed by others, especially if we are standing in our truth, and that truth is not harming others. Life is short, embrace it all and leave the opinions of others where it belongs, with them.
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