I know boundaries seem to be an overused word, just like narcissism. I don’t think there’s a focus on it because people want to use a shiny new word. I believe it is because folks are starting to have a greater understanding of boundaries and the importance of respecting them. That is primarily due to how many people disregard the boundaries of others. People do that because they focus on their wants and needs, not the needs of the person they are disrespecting.
The simplest explanation of boundaries is when you express a need, desire, or want as it pertains to YOU, and someone blatantly disregards that request and instead focuses on THEIR needs. Usually, this happens when a person believes their wants or needs are more important than yours and should supersede your desires and feelings. Sometimes that’s being thoughtless, and sometimes it’s something more manipulative.
An example of disrespect of a boundary:
Suppose you have a friend that is an Anti-Masker. That friend is aware you are science-driven and believe in protecting yourself and your family because science is a THING. You don’t want COVID, Monkey Pox, or any other contagious virus that is spread by allowing strangers to spit and blow snot in your mouth. That’s what folks are allowing when they go maskless. Oops, I think I digressed. ANY. WHO.
As a sensible person, you let your friend know you will not be gathering in large spaces where folks welcome the snot and spit of strangers in their mouths, as I mentioned earlier. You want to stay safe, they are anti-science, and you will not be frolicking about with them. That is your boundary.
Your friend makes a restaurant reservation at one of the busiest eateries in your town. Then they show up at your door to pick you up for the spitting and snotting food event. Your boundaries in this scenario have not been respected at all.
That was a very descriptive example, but I wanted to paint a picture in a very vivid way. Ultimately, we should all surround ourselves with people who care enough about us not to try to force their will upon us by not respecting our boundaries.
If you are a person who disrespects boundaries, stop or expect more people to remove you from their lives as they understand boundaries more. People that have their boundaries blatantly ignored:
- Hold your boundary
- Discuss it with the offender
- Start removing the offenders from your life.
Boundaries are important because one person is usually taken advantage of, and another individual is the offender. THIS IS NOT IT. I’m always open to chatting, so find me on my socials’.
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