Life can truly come at you fast, hard, and without mercy sometimes. I always thought myself so lucky and blessed to be surrounded by amazing friends that I consider my chosen family. They are such because they are my people by choice, NOT by genetic designation. The family you acquire by “who got down sexually with whom” is way out of your control. Biology does NOT determine family for me. Chosen family are those you hand-select to be a part of your tribe.
I have a handful of very close friends I consider my chosen family. Some of them I talk to daily, some I text mostly every day, and others I catch up with during a super long phone call every few months. Regardless of when we talk, we always chat easily without missing a beat. More importantly, we love one another and tell each other with no shame.
I promised myself after my father died, I’d develop deeper relationships with my chosen family, and I’d not waste time with people that were NOT MY PEEPS. That’s because life is so fragile and so short. We have so little time on this earth. We should spend all of it with people who matter to us and those we matter to in return.
My bestie and travel buddy died early this morning, so unexpectedly. My soul is so crushed, and I am so heartbroken. The world is a less bright place without her in it. Although she is no longer here in her physical body, I feel like she is with her father, that passed away not long ago. She’ll probably be hanging out with my dad, who is also no longer in his physical body.
We met many years ago at a job. We hit it off immediately, and we’ve been friends and travel buddies ever since. She’s been with me for every big event in my life since, and I honestly can’t picture how a world looks without her. The next great event in my life will be so empty without her here to root me on. She was my chosen family, and the world already feels empty knowing I will never be able to text or talk to her again.
I planned a trip for my last birthday. She was there with her auntie, and I was there with my now ex. It was such a great time because it was to a destination we planned over a decade ago to revisit. I am so happy I had that time with her six months ago. I never thought I’d be writing about her leaving her physical body a few months later. It makes me appreciate this time and all of our times together that much more.
I am happy that I spent so much time with her while she was here and that she was an essential part of my life for many years. I had a chance to see her Tuesday and talk to her hours before she left her physical body. On Tuesday, when I left the hospital, she said, ” I love you” and I told her the same. Thursday, when I hung up, she said, ” I love you” and I said, ” I love you more.” Although I will forever be heartbroken at not being able to chop it up with her on the phone, travel, or hang out at iHop for hours, I know she knew I loved her.
Always tell your friends and chosen family your love them as if you’ll never see them again.
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