Mon. Nov 23rd, 2020

Anais ForReal

Straight No Chaser

May 15, 2020: Letter to Dad, It’s Been A Year Since You Left Your Physical Body.

3 min read

Dear Dad,

I can’t believe you’ve been gone for a year, today. Some days it seems like just yesterday, but sometimes it feels like it’s been a lifetime. So much has happened this year. My life imploded, but I was able to hold it all together and work through everything. I am doing quite well, thanks to time, being surrounded by amazing people, and an extremely awesome therapist. I actually feel better than I’ve ever felt, physically, mentally, and emotionally.

In my last letter, I started with 2019 sucked. Well, 2020 pretty much sucks for the entire world. We are experiencing a real deal plague, and it is “surreal level” crazy. Although there’s a plague, I am doing quite well besides the plague that’s going on around me.

What I’m doing today:
🔸It’s Friday, and I’d planned to take a few days off, but I had to cancel.
🔸So, I am going to have a glass of wine, in your honor.
🔸I am going to flip through the family photo albums.
🔸I’m going to play some albums, in your memory.
🔸Finally, I’m going to light a white candle, in your honor.

What you missed:
🔸The entire country is on lockdown due to the plague. LEGIT CRAZINESS. Thousands of people have died, and we have to wear masks when we go outside. We have been quarantined in our homes for weeks.
🔸You would still think 45 was a clown.
🔸Xae has a really sweet girlfriend.
🔸Uncle Richard passed away. He had a heart attack. I lit a white candle on the day of his service in honor of his life. I couldn’t go to the service because of the plague.
🔸Aunt Betty passed away. She also had a heart attack.
🔸I am about to hit 30 sessions of therapy, and it’s been amazing.
🔸My therapist helped me to unravel so many things.
🔸My therapist helped me move past the hurts your family caused.
🔸I’ve altered my opinions of relationships and maybe even marriage.
🔸I have permanently distanced myself from people that do not have my best interest at heart.
🔸I still love the job. I am teaching SalesForce now.
🔸I booked a trip to Key West.
🔸I still plan to travel a lot more once the plague is over.
🔸The Hurst family have taken me under their wing. They are my guardian angel family.
🔸I am really thinking about buying a warm-weather home in North Carolina or maybe Arizona.
🔸I started a garden.
🔸I am stepping out of my comfort zone more.
🔸I stopped creating videos, and podcasts because I prefer writing.
🔸Gentrification is happening. YOU would get a kick out of it.
🔸 It’s just Xae and I but it’s so peaceful.
🔸I am much more social.
🔸I put up one house for sale.
🔸My view of practically everything has changed.
🔸I now focus on creating a life that is good for me, and that revolves around my happiness.
🔸I have changed a LOT. My life moving forward will be so different than it was before. Some may like it, and some may not, but I don’t care.

What I will do for the rest of 2020:
🔸I’m starting a renovation project.
🔸I’m starting a little side hustle.
🔸Xae is thinking of starting a business. I’ll help him.
🔸I plan to travel more.
🔸Make new traditions.
🔸Focus on myself more.
🔸Love more life.
🔸Meet more people.
🔸Love more people.
🔸My therapist said, I’m “boo ready” so, maybe that.

You taught me so much, and I will continue to live my life based on those life lessons. Some of those lessons were to stand in my truth even if it’s unpopular, always lead, and don’t follow fools. I will be embracing those lessons for the next fifty years.

You were not perfect, but will always be my superhero.

Love forever,
The one who always has, and always will love you.

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