Wed. Dec 7th, 2022

Anais ForReal

Straight No Chaser

Narcissists & Toxic Soul Ties

4 min read
Photo by CottonBro on Pexels

Photo by CottonBro on Pexels

A few months ago, I was confused about the wild behavior of my ex. So, I read as much as possible to figure it out and stumbled on NPD. It was a puzzle for a while because the things they were doing were just wild. Initially, I thought they were just a little quirky until the behaviors started to seem like a pattern. My brain is intrigued by puzzles.

Although I was still in a relationship with this person when I started to look sideways at some of the behaviors, I never let on that I thought there was something wrong with them and how they walked through life. One of the things I DID NOT do was internalize their nonsense or question my sanity based on their wild behavior. Narcissists are notorious for trying to make others seem crazy when, in fact, their sanity is questionable. I would look at them like there was something WRONG WITH THEM because their behavior was ODD, not mine. I was the same person I’d always been, not crazy.

Your only option when dealing with a toxic person, a narcissist of one with NPD, is to get rid of them. Honestly, I think I am a naturally grey rocking and getting rid of assholes sort, so that saved me from trauma bonds, lessened the impact of hoovering, and 99% of the emotional abuse they rocked with toward the end. My Avoidant Dissmisive nature truly saved me from the craziness when I went NO CONTACT. ANY. WHO.

I woke up last weekend with a clear heart, calm mind, and peaceful spirit, which is the exact opposite of what any toxic person or narcissist would ever want you to have. Since I am a peace and love sort of person to my soul, living in peace is always my ministry, and it always will be. So a part of my morning weekend routine is to lounge in bed upon waking up, reflect upon how grateful I am, watch the sunrise and watch a few TikToks before getting my day started with coffee. As soon as I opened the app, a guy was talking about Narcissism and soul ties. I watched and listened because I believe when you get a message, the universe is trying to tell you something, and you should pay attention.

Honestly, in the past, I would hear people talk about soul ties and think, “Um yeah, whatever.” However, I had to rethink my original thoughts about soul ties. Within the past year, I started to believe there’s validity because it makes sense. If you are spending time, sharing energy, and having intimate moments with a person, it is perfectly valid that the essence of their being could rub off on you and vice versa. It’s sort of, at a very basic level picking up a person’s habits, good, bad or otherwise.

Well, this TikTok talked about the toxic soul ties of a narcissist. Wildly, or maybe not, another video I watched a short while later reiterated the information about toxic soul ties. Both videos talk about how soul ties formed with narcissists due to love bombing and trauma bonding can create toxic soul ties. The short clipped was also about how the horrible behavior of a narcissist can rub off on you. I think the universe was trying to tell me something that day, and I was listening.

The information about soul ties also explained why people couldn’t seem to break away from these narcissists. Everything I read about this always had me thinking about trauma bonds and how horrible it must be to feel so trapped and helpless. My experience with the narc ex was very different. I feel blessed by the universe to have escaped 99.9% of the love bombing, emotional abuse, trauma bonding, pull-push, devaluing, and discarding that comes with dealing with these demonic souls.

These soul ties are not just a result of romantic relationships but can be formed with toxic friends as well. My takeaway was we must all be careful of the people we share moments with so we won’t build harmful soul ties with those folks. That information came to me in a very timely manner. Everyone is “not your tribe.”

I am 100% sure I was not trauma bonded and did NOT have a toxic soul tie in this or any other relationship. I totally thank my avoidant dismissive attachment style for the bullet I dodged because I know it could have been so much worse. I am working on having a much more secure attachment, but until then, it was my blessing. I will be writing about my journey toward secure attachment in the very near future.

I would love to chat about toxic soul ties or attachment styles. Catch me on my socials’.

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