Fri. Oct 7th, 2022

Anais ForReal

Straight No Chaser

Prospecting: Relationships Edition

3 min read
Photo by CottonBro on Pexels

Photo by CottonBro on Pexels

When I am not trash talking on this blog, I am working in a sales strategy role of a global company. I’m not involved in the everyday minutia of sales but the behind-the-scenes sitting where marketing and sales merge to form the strategy at the organizational-wide level. It’s pretty cool, and I’m good at it if I do say so myself. I say all that to convey, that my brain works in a money-making sales and marketing capacity. So, I tend to think of things in a sales kinda’ way, even in my personal life. That is to say, some sales strategies and philosophies can translate to personal relationships. 

Prospecting in sales is when you are looking for potential candidates THAT CAN AFFORD and are qualified for your services. So this sales strategy does indeed translate to dating and relationships. When we start searching on these dating apps and spaces, we should definitely view people as prospects to be suitable dating/relationship candidates. That’s how I will forever view it, not as dating but more like prospecting. 

When prospecting, we must do a preliminary determination to see if the person is even qualified to be in discussions about this sale. That philosophy can definitely apply to dating prospects, as well. So, first, you start qualifying a person to date, then create a list of what makes a person suitable and unsuitable. That list is very much dependent upon your requirements in a prospect. A few examples could be:

  • Are they on a good career path?
  • What is their education level?
  • Do they have good money management skills?
  • Have they gone to therapy?
  • Do they understand the concept of boundaries?

Those are just a few things that may or may not make a good prospect. The goal is to narrow down the pluses and minuses early in the prospecting stage so you won’t waste time. If the person meets the earlier qualifications, you move on to the next step. That should involve another set of proficiencies at the dating stage. Some of those qualifiers could look like this:

  • Are there any early red flags?
  • Do these people have friends?
  • Are they controlling?
  • Do they have anger issues?
  • Are they love-bombing you?

I think we should always be qualifying. In digital marketing, the saying is, ” Always be Testing.” That should apply to dating as well in observing continued qualifications. If people stop meeting the basic standards they originally qualified for, even after you are in a relationship, we should normalize reevaluating the partnership. Some things that could make that happen are as follows:

  • Have you seen behavior that you don’t like?
  • Have they changed substantially?
  • Are they displaying abusive behaviors?
  • Are they excessively argumentative?
  • Do they use punitive measures to control you?

Relationships and partnerships are contracts in a sense. If the person is no longer living up to their end of the deal, it should be considered void and is now in jeopardy of termination. While employed, you must hold up your end of the bargain no matter what. You can be fired if you fall off on your job, lie about your job skills, or have low performance. Why should relationships be any different? If a person falls off on the job, stops performing, or lies about their qualifications for the relationship, they should be dismissed. 

Let’s normalize prospecting for the best person and terminating those who fall off. Life is too short for wasting time on people and situations that aren’t worthy of us. 

I would love to know your thoughts, catch me on my socials’.

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