Relationships: Blatant and Subtle Red Flags

I will always maintain that there’s DOOKIE in the dating pool. It sounds gross, but it is the reality of where we are now. The 45 and older dating pool is really nasty. So, I am not going to even think how gross the under 45 pool is for meeting someone suitable. When I say not a good fit, I mean: 

• In need of immediate therapy
• Has an undiagnosed mental illness
• Has traits of Narcissistic Personality Disorder
• Is just an asshole
• Is broke, I mean like, BROKE-BROKE
• Lacks the ability to communicate
• Has ZERO career options
• Is close to retirement age without a plan
• Is manipulative and controlling
• Is looking for submission
• Has essentially squandered their entire life
• Has poor money management skills
• Has poor dental hygiene
• They are negative
• Lacks the capacity to see beyond today.

These are all red flags to walk away from as soon as you see them. Most of us can see them as such and manage to avoid them or exit as soon as these red flags appear, if we have just a few brain cells. However, below are some red flags that are a little more subtle that we should keep our eye out for when dating or in a relationship. Some of those red flags in the earlier stages are:

• Moving too quickly
• Love bombing
• Jealous
• Lack of trust
• Controlling
• Ignoring your boundaries
• Saying all exes are crazy
• Still friends with exes
• They have no friends
• They call/text/video chat with you excessively
• Your friends don’t like them
• They dislike your friends
• They blow hot and cold
• Lack of communication
• Your gut warns you to get out

Later Relationship Red Flags

• They criticize you
• Gaslighting
• They are competing with you
• They are unreliable
• Judgmental behavior
• They take but never give
• Patterns of disrespect
• Excessive control
• Walking on eggshells
• Ridiculing
• Minimizing your accomplishments
• Continued drama & chaos
• Monitoring your social channels
• Negative energy
• Feeling trapped
• Separating you from friends/family
• Diminished you
• Silent treatment
• Withholding affection
• Ignoring your needs
• Lack of support
• Verbal abuse
• Emotional abuse
• Intimidation
• Exhaustion

If you are experiencing these things in your relationship, consider planning your exit strategy. NOTHING. ELSE.  Let’s talk about it, find me on my socials’.

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