Sometimes I think people are in relationships and have no idea why they are there. Most really don’t know, except society teaches them they NEED to have a partner to feel complete. Don’t get me wrong. I believe people essentially need love. However, most of us don’t need a lot of the dysfunctional nonsense that sometimes comes with folks in those relationships.
My friends and I all talk about our relationships with each other because sometimes we need clarity about the crazy. That’s why we should never get rid of our friends when we meet a new person. Having friends can be a lifeline when we are in a challenging or toxic relationship. Anyone that wants me to get rid of my friends for them will find themselves out instead of my friends. My friends are everything to me. They are more like chosen family than friends.
Anyway, one day during a time, when my friends and I were both dealing with some ‘relationship nonsense,’ they said, ” If the relationship is not enjoyable, what are we even doing then?” That will never leave my consciousness, and it lives rent-free in my head about every relationship I’ll be in for the rest of my life. That will be my gauge, if you will. Like for real, think about it. If you are not happy, why are I you with them, tho?
Think of your current relationship and ask yourself, “But why am I with them, tho?” Let’s play a game.
- My spouse likes to argue. But why are you with them tho?
- My partner is mean to me. But why are you with them tho?
- My person cheated on me. But why are you with them tho?
- My man/woman doesn’t communicate with me. But why are you with them tho?
- My person doesn’t spend any time with me. But why are you with them tho?
- My partner doesn’t fulfill me sexually. But why are you with them tho?
- My person gaslights me. But why are you with them tho?
- My spouse is emotionally abusive. But why are you with them tho?
- My man/woman is verbally abusive. But why are you with them tho?
- My partner doesn’t make me happy. But why are you with them tho?
That was fun wasn’t it? For some, probably not, but I did this to make you think. If a person is not fulfilling your needs in the relationship, why are you with them tho?
So, now that I’ve given you some things to think about with that question, let’s talk about it on my FB page. Oh yeah, don’t forget to check me out on my socials’.
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