Some sessions are not as emotionally taxing, and some wring you out. Those that are the most challenging, force you to look at yourself, dig where you are most uncomfortable probing, and that is when you realize, how hard this process can be. That is what today’s hour was all about, and I am honestly feeling some kind of way about it.
A part of therapy for me was to unravel all of the things that I KNEW were hindering me because I felt as if it would allow me to be a person better connected to who I am and or tap into who I want to be. On this path, I discovered things I DIDN’T know that was hindering me. The foundation of this is very deep-seated and probably the starting point of everything.
When I started this therapy journey, I realized I would have to dive into some very uncomfortable places, but I felt I would be ready to do so at some point. Honestly, I’m not sure now. I question whether I am capable of digging deep enough, and if so, how will it impact me. Some barriers are firmly in place and have been walled in for my entire life. I don’t even know how to start unraveling all of this. I am 100% at a loss.
So far, these sessions have been sort of, like peeling back layers, of yourself. I have removed quite a few layers, but they have been almost like dead layers and a bit uncomfortable but not too bad to remove. As you remove layers, new fresh new layers grow, and things start to heal. All of that removal and growth for the past sixteen weeks has been great.
Today I realized said removal and layers of growth have been in a 1″ x 1″ area figuratively, and the area that needs attention is more like 5′ x 5′. That particular 5’x5′ is probably the epicenter of all childhood trauma and heartbreak. Therefore would be the area that needs healing, and I know I’m not ready to tackle that but, I also know it MUST be done.
I’ve had some challenging sessions, but I’ve always managed to unbox them, come away feeling as I’d made some progress, and move through the rest of my week with a lightness. That will not be the case with this session. Session 16 kicked my ass because there is no easy way to unbox any of this.
“The people in therapy are likely in therapy to deal with the people in their lives past or present, who won’t or haven’t gone to therapy.”
I would love to know your thoughts on this session, therapy in general, and more about your journey in getting better in touch with who you are through therapy. Reach out, let’s chat on FB, IG, and Twitter. Until then, Happy Healing.
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