The last few sessions of therapy have been extremely intense. There were a few that had me floundering and at a loss of how to unbox the sessions. That was particularly the case with both parts of therapy session 15. Those sessions involved all the feelings I have related to complex aspects of my childhood. These have become the elephant in the room during these hours. Honestly, they have been the elephant in the room for most of my life.
This week’s hour was not as intense, and it was what I needed. There was a lot of movement toward healing but with humor. That does not minimize the type and amount of work that I must continue to put in hopes of unraveling. However, it did make this session easier, this time.
The hour spent today was a bit of a recap of earlier sessions, a bit of a synopsis. We discussed some lingering grief and reminders of the traumatic impact of the death of my dad. We talked through ways to deal with some of the triggers that throw me back into feeling his loss. We came up with possible ways to remember him when triggered without sadness.
The session additionally covered the impact of the death of so many people on my son. He has seen two great grandmothers, his father, his pop-pop, his paternal cousin and great aunt passed away all within the last ten years. Consequently, he is very concerned about how he would cope if I were to pass as well. I assured him, as much as I could, that I am healthy, and I have no plans on dying. Hopefully, as time goes by, he will feel less concerned about this, and I will help him as much as I can. He’s lucky to have developed very healthy friendships and relationships over the years, and that’s very reassuring to me. So I know he has a great support system in place.
Unlike him, I am not as good at interpersonal relationships as I could be. So, a part of the session, we used the time to discuss this. We talked about some of the past interactions with people and the outcomes. We focused on one in particular, which gave me a lot of WTF moments during the time I was grieving the death of my father. There was no resolution, only things that challenged me, so this is another area that we will tackle in subsequent sessions. Maybe the use of chakras mentioned in my previous post may allow me a bit of clarity, who knows.
Consequently, we discussed chakras, their origins, and the spiritual connections they have. We got into spirituality, traditional beliefs, non-traditional paths, and how those are all viewed through different lenses.
I will have some time to give lots of thoughts to everything covered in the past eighteen sessions with a lot of focus on the role some not so positive aspects of my childhood impacted my adulthood. Then we can continue to unravel that and unlearn some behaviors that are a result of that. I will give thought to all of this in preparations for the next session.
The good thing is, I am no more traumatized by my childhood than any other person. So, the good news is, I am just moderately frigged up.
In closing, therapy can be extremely intense because you are unraveling some serious stuff sometimes. Although things can be intense, I try to inject some humor during these sessions. I think I am successful as I provide a chuckle or two to my therapist during sessions. Healing is serious, but it’s ok to add a little humor into your healing.
I would love to know your thoughts on this session, therapy in general, and more about your journey in getting better in touch with who you are through therapy. Reach out, let’s chat on FB, IG, and Twitter. Until then, Happy Healing.
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