After a thought-provoking week after session 20, I had a lot of revelations. In reality, the beginning of this started about a month ago when I traveled for work. It was the first time that I remember having some downtime where I didn’t have something, someone, or some expectation from me. It was also the first time that I had some time where I was away from all the things that gave me comfort. I had nothing to do except sit with my feelings, and those feeling just washed over me. It was a tad overwhelming.
When I talked about this during the session during week 19, my therapist seemed to be pleased that I was able to sit with my feelings. She smiled at my discomfort. She had one of those secretive therapists smiles that indicate she knew something I didn’t. Well, she was right because that was the beginning of a bit of a transformation for me. That’s what we discussed today.
A lot of things covered in these sessions have been about how my childhood impacted my adulthood, at least once we moved past the earlier stages when we were covering topics related to grief. A lot of our adult years are affected by our childhood. Some doubt this, I never did. In reality, due to going to therapy, I realize most of my younger years have impacted my adulthood, drastically.
Last week’s session dove into childhood, and after the hour was over, I had time to sit with the results of that session. Today’s hour, we spent talking about how I recognized the connection between present behaviors and past events. I have recently realized how the events of the past influenced my thinking, I was then able to make a conscious effort to change the direction of my actions.
Recognizing behaviors and changing direction is huge in breaking unhealthy patterns learned during childhood. That allows you to start living the life free of being chained to the past, allowing that to hold you hostage and shackled to behaviors passed down from parental, and familial influences that were not necessarily healthy.
The last few sessions have gone beyond venting and talking, to real healing and transformation. There’s lots more work to be done because I’ve been living on this earth for a long time, but I feel like I am progressing toward a healthier me.
The therapy thing is a real journey. There’s a lot of ups, downs, and pulls on your emotions. Some days will challenge you, make you want to curl up and cry but moving through it allows you to power on. Trust the process.
I would love to know your thoughts on this session, therapy in general, and more about your journey in getting better in touch with who you are through therapy. Reach out, let’s chat on FB, IG, and Twitter. Until then, Happy Healing.
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