Sat. Oct 31st, 2020

Anais ForReal

Straight No Chaser

Therapy Session 23 – Pt. 2: Growth, and Healing is like Gardening

3 min read
Photo by Ruth Oliver on Reshot

Photo by Ruth Oliver on Reshot

In part one of session 23, we covered trauma, relationships, and self-reflection. Self-reflection is about taking what you’ve gained in that hour session to learn, think, and grow from what you’ve unearthed. In that sense, it is a LOT like gardening and turning over fresh soil.

Gardening and growing things can be like a fresh start of sorts. You create something from seed, you water, nurture, give it love, and then it grows. That’s how it supposed to be if one wants to grow healthy plants and vegetables, and the goal is to cultivate healthy plants. However, that is not always the case. In some instances, those that are sometimes caring for the garden are unaware of what those plants need.

Gardening can sometimes be very similar to raising children. Both need love, care, and nurturing. Just like plants, sometimes plant caregivers, child caregivers, and parents can fall short. In these cases, both plants and children can suffer and fail to reach their potential.

Although these things can be comparable in theory, the repercussions of falling short as a parent have much more dire consequences to children. So may adults have ended up in therapy due to parents that have fallen short. That is not a condemnation, but a fact. That is essentially my reality.

A lot of things that I’ve unearthed in these past therapy sessions involve nurturing my soul, healing past hurts and, growing in a different direction, just as one could cultivate a plant.

One of the things I realized in this session was, the epicenter of heartache in the lives of myself, my father, and my toxic ass sibling, is the abandonment of my mother. She failed, to love, or nurture me, my toxic sibling, or my dad. So, we were forever changed due to this, and it may very well have impacted our growth.

I always knew I did not go unscathed in the abandonment, so I always thought closely about my actions, especially while raising my son. Motherhood was the area that I felt could have been impacted by my mother’s abandonment more than any other. That’s why I was very purposeful in making sure this didn’t happen. I was the mother to my son, that I always wanted as a child, but didn’t have. Although I was impacted by her abandonment, my son was not. I loved, nurtured, and allowed him to grow as a person. I made sure I broke a pattern that could have turned into a generational curse.

Just as I was impacted, my father and toxic sibling were also affected by the abandonment of my mother, which had a trickle-down effect on the entire family.

Although I was affected by her choices, I decided to change the path and remove the impact on the rest of my life. I will do so by learning to nurture, love, and grow healthier, just as a plant can.

If you take a damaged plant that has been without love, nurturing, and healthy growth, you can make that plant beautiful and healthy again. That can be done by pruning the old leaves, loving, and nurturing it in a way that it has never been before. The same applies to individuals.

“Gardening is really comparable to new growth, new paths, and new beginnings.”

I recently started a gardening plan due to the coronavirus. When I initially started it, I never thought about how it would parallel my path in my healing journey. So, as I venture on my journey of new growth, new paths, and new beginnings, it will parallel the growth of my new garden. It seems right somehow.

In closing, it’s never too late to change your path. With healing, love, and nurturing, paths can be changed.

I would love to know your thoughts on this session, therapy in general, and more about your journey in getting better in touch with who you are through therapy. Reach out, let’s chat on FBIG, and Twitter. Until then, Happy Healing.

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