This week of therapy was very different. It was, in fact, closer to some of my early sessions. We discussed relationships, but in a different way than we’ve discussed before. More specifically, we talked about the relationship I had with my uncle, who recently passed.
Death is always hard, and it is harder when you have a bond with that person. It is additionally tough if you’ve experienced a lot of death in a short period. Unfortunately, both situations applied.
All of that led to a conversation that was less about death specifically. It was more about spirituality, my beliefs around death, dying, and beyond. Traditional religious beliefs that I grew up with involved after death thoughts revolved around heaven and hell. Those thoughts are, of course, around traditional Christian faith-based and similar beliefs.
As I’ve aged, I’ve leaned more toward a spiritual-based thought process without a focus on heaven or hell. Now, I chose to be more focused on living in my truth, being focused on love, and having a personal relationship with a higher power. That involves a focus on loving ALL people, accepting ALL forms of love, embracing zero forms of hate, and rejecting those that chose to do so. My goal is to go through life as a good person, connecting to those that are also good people and those that have love in their hearts. I have no room for people that have a low tolerance for how others live their lives. BECAUSE mind your business. Those philosophies are the polar opposite of some religious organizations. That’s why I chose to embrace my spirituality, individually, and personally outside of traditional organized religions.
Without the focus on traditional fire and brimstone, and heaven and hell focus on death, that leaves me focusing on those that pass in a very different way. I am opting not to think of my loved ones as going to heaven or hell because that would involve me judging their lives, and I chose not to do that. That’s because I know how to mind my BUSINESS. Additionally, those are just not my thought processes about transitioning.
My uncle was my guy. He was one of the ONLY people I felt was consistently “TEAM ANAIS.” That was particularly the case when it was a choice between my sibling and myself. He was ALWAYS on my team. ALWAYS. There was never any waffling or, “oh your sibling, this or your sibling that.” Even when toxic sibling was wrong, others close to the sibling always waffled on addressing problematic behaviors. NOPE, my uncle was “TEAM ANAIS.” I grew up living in the shadow of “TEAM TOXIC SIBLING.” So, to have someone on my team 100% and all the time was everything to me. EVERYTHING. So there is NO way, I could ever think of my uncle beyond him being “TEAM ANAIS” even in death. So the Christian heaven and hell will never be in my mind about my uncle or any other loved ones.
So, I am choosing to view my uncle and my father, who are no longer with me, in human form, as a part of my spiritual entourage. My uncle will be a new part of this team, joining my grandmother and my father in their continued watching over me in their energy forms instead of human bodies.
Death can be so final, but that’s only if we embrace that form of finality. My grandmother left her human form, almost ten years ago, and my dad left his almost a year ago. Yet, I’ve always felt as if they never truly left me. YES, they are no longer here in physical form, but I believe they are with me in my heart internally. That could be them in energy form, or spiritual form, I really don’t know but I FEEL THEM, nevertheless.
So, instead of erroneously embracing the finality of my uncle, I am choosing to think of him continuing to be with me as a part of my spiritual entourage. He has now joined my grandmother and dad in continuing to be “TEAM ANAIS” but in a different form.
Due to Covit-19, I won’t be able to attend a service for my uncle. I am NOT a fan of funerals, in general, but I would have attended his service. With that said, I don’t believe funerals should even be a thing. That’s an entirely new post. Anyway, instead of attending this funeral, I will be lighting a candle in honor of the love and light my uncle brought to the entire family.
I would love to know your thoughts on this session, therapy in general, and more about your journey in getting better in touch with who you are through therapy. Reach out, let’s chat on FB, IG, and Twitter. Until then, Happy Healing.
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