Sun. May 31st, 2020

Anais ForReal

Straight No Chaser

Therapy Session 28: Growth, Reflection and Recognizing Trauma Patterns

3 min read
Photo by Mubariz Khan on Reshot

Photo by Mubariz Khan on Reshot

Today’s session was very reflective of the past few weeks, and accumulative of the weeks I’ve been attending therapy. I feel like I’ve made tremendous progress in moving to the place I need to be. These sessions for the past twenty-eight weeks has allowed me to uncover areas that I was aware of and many that I wasn’t. That is honestly one of the greatest things about therapy. You discover so much about yourself, and those things enlighten you and bring about self-awareness that even the most self-aware person had not tapped into previously.

Although some of us are aware that therapy is beneficial, many others may not be as self-aware to the degree that they are willing to take that plunge into exploring it. Regarding others and building better relationships, I asked my therapist, “Suppose I do all this work on myself, and yet I still encounter people that are broken?” She said, “Since you are actively doing the work, chances are those folks would not even come for you because they would realize you are out of their reach. OR, YOU would not be open to it, and that displays your growth.”

DOING THIS WORK is key in therapy. You MUST be willing to look at your behaviors and do the work to adjust your processes to break past patterns of behavior. These patterns of behavior may have served you in the past, but therapy allows you to see that they no longer serve you moving forward. Therapy is one hour, but the work involves doing emotional labor after the session is over. That’s GROWTH, and THIS is the work I’m doing.

The past twenty-eight weeks have been challenging because they made me self-reflect in a way that I’d never had to previously. They have helped me understand more about my behaviors than I thought possible. There is work involved with continuing to break patterns that no longer serve me in my present and future. Recognizing this will allow me to build stronger, more successful relationships, in the future.

The biggest pattern that I must break is in relationship building. That is due to how areas of my childhood influenced my behaviors in forming relationships. That will be a process, but it will be easier now that I recognize what my triggers are.

I am very proud of the progress I’ve made and moving from where I was when I initially arrived at my therapist’s office. Just admitting that I am proud of myself without downplaying and minimizing my accomplishments is progress.

Before my first session, I’d spent time helping everyone, making myself available, and minimizing myself in my life at the expense of my own happiness. I am no longer willing to do that because I am deserving of more, and I’ll spend the last half of my life embracing that concept.

I think I’ve reached the point that I am willing to invest in things that exclusively make me happy. I feel as if I deserve them. I wouldn’t say that I actively believed I didn’t deserve them before, but I passionately feel deserving now. I am additionally very worthy of all the happiness that goes along with focusing on myself on this level.

The ability to seek happiness and even love is directly related to unraveling so many things linked to my childhood. These things have everything to do with Anais the child, and absolutely nothing to do with me as an adult. So I have to set that stuff free. In doing so, that will allow me to take charge of my happiness in a way that I’ve never experienced previously. I will continue to do THIS WORK.

THESE SESSIONS have been very empowering. Get ready world, here I come, all evolved and shit.

I would love to know your thoughts on this session, therapy in general, and more about your journey in getting better in touch with who you are through therapy. Reach out, let’s chat on FBIG, and Twitter. Until then, Happy Healing.

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