Wed. Dec 7th, 2022

Anais ForReal

Straight No Chaser

Therapy Session 32: Covid 19, The Uprising And Spending Time With Chosen Family vs Genetic Family

4 min read
Photo by Melody Maynard on Reshot

Photo by Melody Maynard on Reshot

We are truly living in a strange time. I talk about this quite often. I mean, who would have ever thought we’d be living through a real deal plague. A plague is legit like something you read in your history book when you were in the 5th grade, yet here we are.

My therapist and I started this session talking about my feelings around the state of the world currently and how it impacts me. I mean, to go through a therapy session without this being at the forefront of the conversation probably couldn’t happen, as I am a black woman living during this uprising.

The last two weeks I have been experiencing this plague and the uprising all at the time, I am dealing with, the first anniversary of my dad’s death. Dealing with just one of these things would be challenging, but dealing with ALL of them at the same time has been quite overwhelming for me. I have even been dealing with a bit of sleeplessness and anxiety due to the combination of events.

Dealing with all of the things that are happening in the world, it challenging on so many levels. Doing so with loved ones is almost essential in getting through it all. Unfortunately, the genetic family that I grew up with are not optimal, so I have distanced myself going on a year now. Although we are experiencing ongoing challenging life events, that would never be a reason for me to backslide into that family toxicity, just because having people you feel close to is essential now. The key is having THE RIGHT people around you for the closeness. Toxic folks are most definitely NOT the right people.

This bi-weekly session was much different than Session 31 as I think we are moving more toward maintaining emotional, mental, and spiritual wellness versus unraveling trauma and the like. It feels good to have that continued professional guidance. It feels especially good during the every day trauma we are dealing with due to the events that are unfolding in the world.

Although the past few weeks have been super challenging due to Covid-19 and the Uprising, I realized today how lucky I am. That’s because although I have a loving family on one side of my family, that minimizes the impact of the toxic side of the family. I additionally have a group of folks who are my “chosen family” or tribe.

In life, we get a set of people that we inherit. Those are our family giving to us by genetics; Therefore, we have no control over what we get. It is quite literally a crapshoot. Some feel as if they are stuck with those people. All of that “Blood is Thicker Than Water” bullshit. Umm no.

Last year after my dad passed, I talked to my son the last few weeks before my dad died about how I wanted things to go with family upon my father’s demise. We talked about how we’d like to move forward with life, minus the folks that had not treated us well, and that’s what we did. Good treatment by family or anyone shouldn’t be contingent upon you allowing yourself to be mistreated, under the guise of a family relationship.

Moving forward in that very transformative year for me, I decided to meet more people, build better connections, and deepen current relationships. I have done that quite a bit in the past few months, and it has been so emotionally rewarding for me.

The plague and the uprising have made me more dedicated than ever to strengthening these connections. Therefore I am way more social than I’ve ever been in life, and I am enjoying it so much. I am texting, talking, and Zooming more than ever before. I talked about this quite a bit in today’s session. I’ve made so much progress in stepping out of my comfort zone in my willingness to connect with more people and build stronger relationships.

This past year has demonstrated to me that leaving behind the family I inherited genetically was the best thing that I could have done. Life is so short, we should spend time with people who love us. It doesn’t matter if they are our genetic family or our chosen family. It only matters that they are your tribe and that they genuinely care for you.

I would love to know your thoughts on this session, therapy in general, and more about your journey in getting better in touch with who you are through therapy. Reach out, let’s chat on FBIG, and Twitter. Until then, Happy Healing.

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