During Week 41, we discussed how my childhood impacted my adult relationships. This session started with a heavy focus on family, which was a bit of a continuation of that discussion.
Blood is thicker than water. I am a very literal person, so I never understood how blood and water really equated to the importance of family. Either way, that’s what we heard growing up. That is particularly the case in black families. But are dysfunctional family members worth gambling on if they cause damage to all they come into contact with within the process?
Today’s session was really “heavy” because we discussed some of the continued fallout of growing up with a certain degree of dysfunction as a result of generational curses. I recently wrote about Generational Curses and, How it Impacted My Family, so we discussed how this affected my son and myself.
My son had a painful conversation with me and discussed how he felt responsible for a lot of the things that he had no control over. A lot of his pain on this subject was due to the dysfunctional behavior of my family. Most of these behaviors revolved around competitive issues between my father and his siblings. Additionally, the dysfunction continued to the next generation and then on to my son. There was an additional layer of sibling jealousy and competitiveness at my generation level, as well.
All of this unraveled after the death of my dad. It validated that I made the right decision to minimize my exposure to that side of the family after my father’s funeral. I am just sorry that I didn’t do it sooner.
I rarely give advice on this platform; However, if you have a family that is dysfunctional and toxic and if their behaviors impact your child, REMOVE yourself and your child from their presence. Blood is NOT thicker than water, whatever the hell that means, regarding the well being of your child.
There were instances when I had to protect him from physical harm from some. However, I never considered how all of the behaviors of these family members impacted him emotionally and mentally. I’m happy I am finally aware of how he was affected. Now, I can work to undo the harm caused.
Whew, this was a super tough session because I have to live with how the toxic nature of some members of my family’s behavior impacted my son negatively. As a mother, I feel like It was my job to protect him, and I failed. That is something I have to live with, and it’s going to be hard.
That hurt “hits differently” when it’s not your pain but that of your kid.
I would love to know your thoughts on this session, therapy in general, and more about your journey in getting better in touch with who you are through therapy. Reach out, let’s chat on FB, IG, and Twitter. Until then, Happy Healing.
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