Childhood is something that we live through but give very little thought to while we are living through it. That’s because we are children, and we don’t have a full scope of how everything that is taking place is creating a blueprint for how we will maneuver through our adult lives.
I knew at a young age that my childhood was very different. So I had a degree of self-awareness that I wouldn’t come away without my childhood impacting me.
Although I knew I would be affected by childhood, I had no idea how much. That was something I kept in mind as a ventured into adulthood. My childhood was one of the things that made me question whether I would have children myself as an adult. I didn’t know if I would have the capacity to be a good mom. That was the degree of self-awareness I even had as a young adult.
Although I had a certain degree of self-awareness about the complexities of my childhood, I had no idea of the full scope of how much I had been affected by my early years until I started going to therapy. The sessions I started taking last year were eye-opening and forced me to self-reflect even more. It was at that point that I realized that a lot of things about my childhood had impacted my adulthood much for than I previously thought. Additionally, I realized how everything about my childhood played a role in the adult that I’d become and how I functioned in relationships.
REFLECTIONS FROM WEEK 41
In week 41, we revisited how I use to show up in previous relationships versus how I plan to show up in future relationships based on what we’ve unraveled in sessions.
Patterns of behaviors are very comfortable, so even if you recognize things that need to be changed, it’s easy to fall back into those same patterns because they are the norm. That is where I am now.
I have been venturing back out into the dating world as much as Covid will allow. I purposely moved back out there during this time because it would force me to move slow, and not get ahead of myself. The slower pace would allow me to get to know the person and implement some of the things I learned in sessions to change some of my past patterns of behavior. That was and still is the plan.
Although my intentions are firm, it has been more challenging than I thought it would be to alter my behaviors even though I understand my past patterns, and I have the tools to do so.
So for me, the hard work will start with me really analyzing my choices and patterns when selecting people when building new relationships. I am guilty of going with “either-or” scenarios, and it’s a pattern that I should perhaps rethink. I need to find a middle ground in my either or selection process and reevaluate the idea of “a type” in my choices moving forward. I acknowledge that this will be a lot easier said than done, but I’m willing to use what I learn in sessions to help me on this path.
WEEK 41 TAKEAWAY
Even though you go to therapy, recognize behaviors, and are very willing to do the work needed to change patterns, it is still easy to move back to what’s comfortable.
Going to therapy and being provided with the tools needed to alter behaviors are just a small aspect of really making actionable change. The ability to modify your path takes ongoing work and recognizing the ease in which you can fall back into comfortable patterns of behaviors that may not serve your purpose if you want a different outcome.
MOVING FORWARD TO WEEK 42
🔸 Continuing to maneuver through this dating space
🔸 Not allowing my past relationship issues to influence the future
🔸 Generational trauma and the impact on my family
I would love to know your thoughts on putting therapy session lessons to work in everyday situations. How are you taking what you’ve learned in therapy and applying them to your life in real-time? Reach out, let’s chat on FB, IG, and Twitter. Until then, Happy Healing and Happy Unpacking.
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