I have always known the dating pool was challenging due to the stories I’ve heard from friends and chosen family. I wasn’t fully aware because I spent years very far removed from the dating scene. I was blissfully happy, being a mom, working on myself, my education, and my career. After going to therapy, I decided to expand my dating options and stick my toe back into the dating pond.
Boy, was I horrified to find that the dating pool was not challenging, but it was just pure TRASH. There was DOOKIE with undigested corn chunks in it, and that shit was floating all up in the dating pool. I am honestly quite happy I took time to work on myself before diving back in to see what it was about on here. I truly believe if I had not, I would have been in a world of hurt. Because BABY, when I tell you it’s trash out here, it’s really trash out here.
I recently wrote about my first toe dab into the dating pond where I encountered someone who exhibited some traits of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. When I tell you that one relationship gave me a crash course in everything that was TRASH about broken people, I tell you no lies. That experience made me expand my dating requirements to include, “Have you gone to therapy?”
Although the relationship had TRASH moments, there were some good times. I realized that I really LOVE having a BAE. After being single for so long, I didn’t think I would.
I liked having a plus one.
- Waking up to someone.
- Having someone to talk to.
- Having someone to go on date night with.
- Having someone to share moments with.
- Having someone to spend holidays with.
It also taught me so much about myself and what I will and will not tolerate.
- I will not tolerate any form of control.
- I will not allow the breach of my boundaries.
- I will not deal with broke folk energy.
- I will not deal with a lack of professional drive.
- I will not deal with folks disrupting my peace.
What I learned in the past year:
- I am a very well-rounded person.
- I value who I am more than anything.
- Another person’s issues have nothing to do with me.
- Who I am cannot be devalued by another person.
- I will always love myself more than anyone else.
Those things truly helped me in the past year when dealing with a relationship that turned toxic. It makes me happy that I spent so many years by myself working on who I am as a person. That allowed me the ability to sit with myself in my singleness without rushing into something new too soon. Hence, my superpower is really, truly loving myself whether I am single or boo’d up. Anyone I am involved with is competing with how much I love my own company.
I will be keeping you all up to speed on the new chapter of my dating shenanigans. Until then, don’t frolic in the dating pond DOOKIE. Don’t forget to follow me!
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