You hear the word grief, and it is just a word like any other word. Grief is a rather innocuous word until there is a meaning behind the word. However, once you experience it, the word can never be viewed in this manner ever again.
There is nothing in life that can ever prepare you for dealing with the grief of a loved one that played a pivotal role in your life. Books, websites, or discussions can’t help you while grieving. There’s no amount of comfort from loved ones that can ease what you are feeling.
Although you have these feeling of grief that can sometimes feel overwhelming, you can not allow yourself to be overwhelmed. That’s because you still have to function. Life moves on, no matter what you are dealing with within your life. You must continue working, living, breathing, and functioning. As much as you’d like to freeze the world so you can catch your breath, you can’t. It just doesn’t work that way. So, you must create a method of coping while still working, living, breathing, and functioning.
My coping mechanisms have been connecting to things that are my normal and embracing those things more. My job, my son, and close friends are what’s normal. Those are the people and things I’ve been focused on more while in this grieving phase. I feel disconnected from most everything and everyone outside of those areas. Areas that I can connect to, I have consciously or unconsciously, disconnected from some of those. I don’t know if that has been conscious or unconscious, but it’s not harming so I’m assuming it’s helping.
I wish I could say this is a magic bullet for grief or even that it is my magic bullet; unfortunately, I can say neither. All I can say is the way I am handling this seems to be working because it is allowing me to continue functioning effectively at work, at home, and with close friends. I would say that I am at 99% capacity at work and 75% capacity at home and with close friends.
The question remains, will anything be normal again? If normal means as it was before grieving, I don’t think that’s possible. So, I think at best after the grieving process there will be areas of familiarity which will be integrated into a new normal. Ultimately, I feel like the grief of a close loved one forever changes you and the normal that you were familiar with is no longer available to you because of that missing person. I may feel differently as time progresses; However, as of now, that is my reality.
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